How many women do you think sandstorm would suggest it takes to change a lightbulb?

Let's consult his 42 page manual on how to change a light bulb properly.
How many women do you think sandstorm would suggest it takes to change a lightbulb?
I love you pokey

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How many women do you think sandstorm would suggest it takes to change a lightbulb?
I don't know, but I love pokey!
why does anybody care? are you that bored?
who cares what he thinks!!!!!!
1
4

My refrigerator suddenly stopped working after it was unplugged to changed a broken lightbulb?

This is an emergency plea for help. Why won't the refrigerator come back on? I checked the outlet - it is fine.
My refrigerator suddenly stopped working after it was unplugged to changed a broken lightbulb?
Check to see if there is a reset button on it. I don't know where it would be, but usually they are red.
My refrigerator suddenly stopped working after it was unplugged to changed a broken lightbulb?
There is a chance that you tripped the breaker. Open your breaker box, look for the breaker that has tripped to the center position. Turn to off, then to on.
Check and see if the GFI its plugged into was tripped. Press the red button to reset it. Check inside the fridge and see if there is a reset button, or go to the circut box and see if the break was trippe, push it back to reset it. Good luck! Tip.... see if anything else around the frig thats plugged and works, if not then its gotta be the circuit breaker.
There's an on/off sqitch inside the refrigerator. Did whoever changed the bulb turn this off? Check and make sure it's in the on position.
If the new bulb is working then you have power. If not - the fault is in the electric supply.

web page host

com and interop

How many Anna Nichol Smiths does it take to change a lightbulb?

Seven



One to hold the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder and five to drink and shoot up until the room starts spinning.
How many Anna Nichol Smiths does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, get her baby's fathers to do it.
How many Anna Nichol Smiths does it take to change a lightbulb?
1
Eight.
none
Three - one to actually change the lightbulb, one to watch her baby, and one to hold her joint and beer.
You know, I'm sick of Anna Nichol Smith and I didn't think much of her when she was alive, but this is in very poor taste.
The poor girls dead, so im guessing none? These jokes are much funnier when theyre about men!!!
NONE. just 24/7 media to make it spin
9989989898
Ha Ha Very Funny R.R.L.!

Ya'll wrong for this!
This is just sick and sad..... Let the poor woman RIP.

How many Anna Nichol Smiths does it take to change a lightbulb?

Its rude to make joke with a person after his/her death.
How many Anna Nichol Smiths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Come-on respect the dead
How many Anna Nichol Smiths does it take to change a lightbulb?
you need to reincarnate her first.
Quite a few cause even when she was alive she was EXTREMELY flaky.



Now I think we should respect the dead, but we also should have a sense of humor as well. And why the heck are we subjected to all of the media attention?? I mean she was just a ditzy playmate and actress, so why is she getting more air time than all the troops that keep dying in Iraq? or anyone else for that matter.

How do I change a headlamp (lightbulb) in my 2004 Chevy Colorado?

Or can you direct me to a site that has that info? I'm sure it's a simple operation but I'm not familiar with the assembly of these new-fangled light fixtures. Thanks!
How do I change a headlamp (lightbulb) in my 2004 Chevy Colorado?
Some of the headlight fixtures on the newer Chevy's had a quick release headlight assembly. On the silverados, they do...

Check right above the headlight, you may find a little metal clip if it is like that. Pull that clip, and the headlight should easily come out with no force.
How do I change a headlamp (lightbulb) in my 2004 Chevy Colorado?
Since you can cut yourself, I suggest take it to a dealer.

many minor operations are done in the service bay where you drive in, and don't need a mechanic.

What I'm saying is; except for the cost of the lamp, the labor may be free. Call and ask.........at least that part will be free.
Dont replace the bulb, replace the truck. buy toyota tundra

How do I change a headlamp (lightbulb) in my 2004 Chevy Colorado?

Or can you direct me to a site that has that info? I'm sure it's a simple operation but I'm not familiar with the assembly of these new-fangled light fixtures. Thanks!
How do I change a headlamp (lightbulb) in my 2004 Chevy Colorado?
The bulbs come out from the backside of the houseing.



1/4 turn and jiggle a little while pulling out.
How do I change a headlamp (lightbulb) in my 2004 Chevy Colorado?
owners manual. should be in your glove compartment 'less you moved it.
I have a dodge so I'm really not sure about Chevy's but i had to get a whole new head light, they told me you cant just change the bulb. it cost me about $200.00 and i just changed it myself.
reach under the bumper
Buy the bulbs at a pepboys, they'll change it for you for free.
if u open ur hood look over the back of the light houseing ull see 2 clips sticking out a big higher then tthe housing pull the 2 clipes stright up and ur light and houseing will fall out then u can change the bulb 2 mins work tops good luck

How many X Factor judges does it take to change a lightbulb?

none, they get there PA's to do it for them.
How many X Factor judges does it take to change a lightbulb?
Do tell!
How many X Factor judges does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, the other two hold his trousers up :)
Depends if Cowell's got his high heels on as the other's couldnt reach
1, Louis because



Sharon is far too fabulous

Simons too small
3

simon to make fun of it

sharon to say its fabulous

and louis to attempt to do it then accidentally electrocute himself
all of them as there all light heads
surely when you put a question under jokes and riddles it's because you are goin to tell us one, not because you want someone else to finish your joke and give you the punch line
what a silly question. answer mine, do ginger haired people have souls?
pass
None. They hold auditions for a live show, %26quot;Bulb Factor%26quot;, starting next easter on itv2.
4
15
they all hold on and wait for the world to revolve around them!
How many judges, change a light-bulb???

i dont think any of them could;

So all of them still would be unable;

They'ed have to put it to the audience at 拢1:50 a minute, they could dicide; then we could all look at the dark tele screen cause none of them have a clue.
All 3 of em.

How do i make a quilt

long hair

How many unemployed 35 year olds that live with their mother does it take to change a lightbulb?

None...they wait until their mother does it
How many unemployed 35 year olds that live with their mother does it take to change a lightbulb?
ONE
How many unemployed 35 year olds that live with their mother does it take to change a lightbulb?
None.. they cannot afford a lightbulb
None. This would constitute doing work and therefore earning money.
The only one!
None, they'd ask their mothers!
So tell us djddan, how %26quot;YOU%26quot; do it?
I would have to go with one.
none---their mum or dad will do it.
five, and their mother

one for each direction on the compass - so they each stand on four sides of the light bulb - the fifth to hold the table and the mother to call out each name to tell them to turn

e.g. if the four are called A,B,C,D

a = North

b = East

c = South

d = West



so mother would say A u turn now, till ur hand reaches B etc etc
i'm 35 unemployed and wealthy i don't change lightbulbs i pay people to do thing's like that
None, they ask their Mom to do it for them............

Under a Neocon administration,how many contractors would it take to change an Iraqi lightbulb?

And how much would the task cost after overruns?
Under a Neocon administration,how many contractors would it take to change an Iraqi lightbulb?
100 contractors at $100.00 an hour, and $1000.00 a day per diem, with the contract extended for an entire month to cover projected mishaps.
Under a Neocon administration,how many contractors would it take to change an Iraqi lightbulb?
Didn't it take $7 million dollars to caulk 12 houses under a Democratic administration?
Iraq has electricity?
They would lose all of the lightbulbs, then send cash to replace the lightbulbs, then %26quot;lose%26quot; the cash, and we'd never get a full accounting of what they did with all that money.
Neocons aren't that different from Liberal Internationalists.
Under a liberal administration how many innocents could be fed into a human paper shredder? How many Iraqi soccer team members would be killed for losing a game? How much of the 550 tons of yellow cake uranium would still be in Iraq?
HOLLO! we are under a neo-hippie administration who is one year over the time he said he wanted to pull out of Iraq.
As many as can fit their snouts in to the trough. But especially if you just happen to be one of Dick Cheney's favorite charities such as Halliburton or the Carlysle Group.
so this is pretty much all you have left, huh?
Just one contractor. Haliburton of course!



Including security costs, it would probably cost $700 or so.
Let the Iraqis change their own damn lightbulbs!

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?

Yes how many men will it take to change a lightbulb
How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
Girl they don't know how even if you have hunderds of them they still wouldn't figure it out but i bet they would know what time the game is coming on lol
How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
never found out i always chage them
NONE
3 - 1 to hold the light-bulb and 2 to turn the ladder!
11
one he stands there waits for the world to revolve around him. (you might want to do it yourself lol)
none
one! but it takes a woman to nag him into doing it!
none because they aren't afraid of the dark.
ONE...MY DAD!!! = }

How many emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they all just sit around crying over it.
How many emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?
lol nice one!
How many emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?
Funny.!!!
Right fine ok.
Or, none because they like the dark!!
thats a good one!
Boo hoo...
and cutting their wrists

lol

How many hippopotamus does it take to change a lightbulb?

I think it only takes one... but he's got to be inspired to do it.
How many hippopotamus does it take to change a lightbulb?
About 3 or 4. They probably keep breaking the step ladder because they are so heavy.
How many hippopotamus does it take to change a lightbulb?
idk :(
a million.
none..

theyre not that smart
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas so I can get him to change light bulbs for me...





:P





.
Just 1 if it's pink.

I miss George.
None...

talk in front of class

medium hair styles

How do you change a halogen lightbulb in your house? The long thin ones.?

It looks a little forbidding and I heard they are dangerous to change because they can burn you.
How do you change a halogen lightbulb in your house? The long thin ones.?
Turn the light off for at least 30 min to let it cool.

If the bulb is touching at both ends of the bulb then grab the bulb and slide it sideways till one end of the bulb is free. Then remove the bulb. With the new bulb it is important to NOT touch the bulb with your bare fingers. (oil from your fingers create a hot spot on the bulb and will cause the bulb to burn out faster) Use a pair of rubber gloves to handle the bulb

Hope that helps
How do you change a halogen lightbulb in your house? The long thin ones.?
Do you mean a Fluorescent light? If so...



Fluorescent light bulbs have two prongs on either end. They slide into a slot on the fixture and then rotate 90 degrees. To remove the lightbulb, grab the bulb and rotate until you feel it %26quot;loosen%26quot; . It should drop straight down.
twist it about 1/4 of a turn and you can then pull it out
OK, these bulbs need to be gently grasped by two fingers of each hand on or very near each end of the bulb. Ive never had them break but if u want wear any nylon or leather glove. Some are kinda spring loaded but it wont matter, pinch w/ thumb and forefinger on each end and gently rotate bulb. When out, replacement is the same.
%26quot;danzka2001%26quot; has told you how to replace a Halogen Lightbulb the others are mainly talking about Fluorescent tubes.
Halogen lamps either have a screw base or tet snap into the socket. Removing themis easy, when installing a new one, use paper between your fingers and the lamp. The oils from your fingers will cause the lamp to explode once its hot.

I have never heard of neon lightbulb. Must mean flourescent.
I'm not sure how, but do not use your bare hands, it can burn out faster
every one i have installed r easy,, let cool, take out new one by the plastic its wrapped in, with old bulb cooled off,pinch it in the middle and push to one side....should slide the way ur pushing it about an 1/8 of an inch. .....the other end will slide toward u out of the socket end........if u try this and it doesnt move then push the other way..





take the new bulb and hold by the plastic and install it just like u took the old one out





lic. gen. contractor

How do I change the lightbulb on a PRESTIGE PRT130LS fridge?

Look in your owners manuel for directions

Riddle: How many sexy guys does it take to change a lightbulb...?

who needs him to change a lightbulb if he is sexy
Riddle: How many sexy guys does it take to change a lightbulb...?
As many as you want! lol.
Riddle: How many sexy guys does it take to change a lightbulb...?
I didn't know justin timberlake changed lightbulbs!!!!
just one, my husband.
None for me cause if the lights went out and sexy men were in the room, you know I'd change that as fast as I could, myself!



But really, umm, I give up! How many?
does it matter? we're sexy!
Just me. I like to screw it in the best.
If they're really sexy...who cares about the lightbulb..
i dunno, lets see how fast i could make ur world turn around, just hold the bulb in place and my sexiness will do the rest

How would Joe Biden change a lightbulb?

First he would spend a week mourning the loss of the light giving bulb.



Then he would paint a picture of the apocalypse to come in the wake of the dying of the lightbulb.



Then he would change the bulb, and no one would really notice because they had gone to make up a story about Sarah Palin instead.
How would Joe Biden change a lightbulb?
Probably replace it with a smaller one and raise the taxes on the electricity. Less light for more money.
How would Joe Biden change a lightbulb?
I sure hope he would use one of those Compact Florescent Bulbs from China.
Did you know that not one thing you've posted about light bulbs is even remotely funny?



It's not satire, it's rubbish!
Please stop posting very bad light bulb jokes, enough is enough.







Yes satire is funny, but these jokes are not.

How many stormtroopers (star wars) does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one untill Obi-Won Kenobi comes around.



*Jedi hand wave* You don't need to change the light bulb.
How many stormtroopers (star wars) does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one but the light bulb has to want to change.
How many stormtroopers (star wars) does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Stormtroopers aren't afraid of the dark.

parameter

parameter

How many hippopotamus in yellow tutu does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. It is the alligators job!!!
How many hippopotamus in yellow tutu does it take to change a lightbulb?
1,573. Yep a yellow tutu challenges their equilibrium.
How many hippopotamus in yellow tutu does it take to change a lightbulb?
only one if it stands on the flamingos head...good morning

How many Labour MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just wondering...
How many Labour MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They'd blame the absence of light on the last govt.
How many Labour MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
None ... they get their secretaries to do it for them
Just the one, they're all experts in screwing things up.
I did not know that labour MPs were aware that lightbulbs existed.
65,421.32



64,420.32 to hold the chair

1 Labor MP to thread the bulb.

Are you happy now? hope I made your day.



Now you know how many labor MP's can stand on the head of a pin...
2 of course, 1 to change it, and the other to lick Gordon Browns (*^(^(%26amp;
1

no, 2

no wait 7

no, it's 1

I think.
At least a hundred less than the Tories would need.

Tories would use a servant being paid minimum wage to achieve what 100 highly paid MP's could not work out.

Exploitation at its worst but the Tories call it delegation, or worse empowering the employee. ie. getting someone else to do the dirty work and take the blame if something goes wrong.
Two many
They wouldn't know how, just like they don't know about anything else that matters.
1, efficiently %26amp; saving money %26amp; resources.



But 50,000 conservatives to stand by watch and say %26quot;its time for a change%26quot; %26amp; %26quot;we could of done it better%26quot;, %26quot; ours would of been built to last%26quot;

%26amp; then spend the next 100 years deciding which 1 of them is going to do it................



say no more !
None, they'd have to publish a task force document on it first!

I am Confused How to Change a lightbulb?

turn off the light switch unscrew the light bulb to the left and screw in the new one to the right



its pretty straight forward
I am Confused How to Change a lightbulb?
righty tighty, lefty loosy :)
I am Confused How to Change a lightbulb?
how many women does it take to change a light bulb?



none, cuz they will just sit in the dark and complain until the man gets home

How many Yahoo Answerers does it take to change a lightbulb?

none...they are too busy asking and answering to bother
How many Yahoo Answerers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - they ask someone else to do it.
How many Yahoo Answerers does it take to change a lightbulb?
It depends how many points you get for changing it!
96
just 1?
two-one to ask how it's done and one to actually do it?
alot
ROFL atleast 1
All of them.
ONE....the one that prys themself away from the computer to do it.
Only one in this household - me.
hmmm.... 562.... yeah 562....
69 of them
None...they will just use the computer screen for light.
who has time to change a light bulb,i am to busy answering question
depends if ur getting the real answer-ers or the spamers just trying to get points...
How many do you think?
Depends on if the light bulb truly wants to %26quot;change%26quot; or not.
2

One female to go to the store and shop for the lightbulb and one man to put it in the socket.
One! The answerer who needs the 10 points.
one is enough and thats YOU !!!
This one doesn't need a light bulb. The computer screen is light enough!
Every last one of them, because they have to discuss it, then debate it out, and then one will find out that they'll get 10 points for changing it, so they'll race to it.
For your nickname, that's a pretty stupid question
One
(3/4*19)/(12x*-3/14^2)-5/2*16x
At least 2, but the number depends on how soon there's a Best Answer.
depends on who it is. None they are all here. I actually only spend about 30 minutes here a week so I have plenty of time to change lightbulbs though I usually get on of the guys to do it. That and trash. I get stuck with everything else.
3 to tell you that your racist.

+

2 to feel sorry for your plight

+

3 to explain their experience changing lightbulbs

+

1 to agree with one of the people who told you that your racist.

=

9
8 plus 1 moderator........



One to tell you that Jesus will show you the way

One to tell you that Allah frowns upon your use of lightbulbs

One to say %26quot;Don't know%26quot;

One to say %26quot;You sicko%26quot;

One to say %26quot;Do you like my Avatar?%26quot;

One to say %26quot;Do it yourself you moron!%26quot; (or other such abuse)

One to report you for a violation, as light bulb changing could be seen as offensive to Muslims

One to copy and paste the answer from Wikipedia

and finally a Yahoo moderator to remove your question because of a violation that you are inciting racial hatred to candles
as many possible (all) one asks how it has to be done, get many answers, then he put the question trough vote because he still don't understands.............

How many swallow carrying a coconut does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, They are too busy holding the coconut in their mouthes.
How many swallow carrying a coconut does it take to change a lightbulb?
Purple.
How many swallow carrying a coconut does it take to change a lightbulb?
about 894, same number as my Y!A points!!!! :D
huh,I am confused
I know this is one of those James Bond messages. Ok it's safe to come in. Light bulb out.
One if he's really good with his mouth.
none,they dont need lightbulbs!

hair tips

email

How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

two. one to screw it in almost all the way and another to give it a surprise twist at the end
How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Very funny and very clever. We need more of these type of questions !!!
How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
nice.
Why did you include the Answer!? I was gonna put something clever here but now I can't! SheeeeeeeeeSh!
Aha, Nice.
Good one!



Thanks,



Beverly Smith

How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?

He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him
How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?
by beating up his girlfriend first
How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?
Does he now have a new-found career in changing lightbulbs?
Doggone it ! But the light shines from every orifice.

How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?

5
How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?
That is so funny I post that everytime someone says something about cocker not housebreaking.
How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?
i don't know how many?
2
1 if he's smart.
i dont get it
None because they can't change a light bulb, dogs do not have thumbs.



That is a really cute one.
Uh...... well the dont really have hands. So I don't think it can be done.
are they fully trained electricians?
pampers or huggies?
GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining. The day is young. We've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?



BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.



DACHSHUND: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!



ROTTWEILER: Make me.



LAB: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?



GERMAN SHEPHERD: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.



TIBETIAN TERRIER: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.



JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.



POODLE: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.



COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.



DOBERMAN: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.



BOXER: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark....



CHIHUAHUA: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.



IRISH WOLFHOUND: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover....



POINTER: I see it. There it is. There it is, right there....



GREYHOUND: It isn't moving. Who cares?



AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...



OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb....



HOUND DOG: ZZZZZZzzzzz.z.z.z..z..z..z...z



CAT: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the question is: How long will it be ! before I can expect light? Will you people hurry up?!

How many seven-legged, six-eyed tarantula with epilepsy does it take to change a lightbulb?

And you'd think that people on Jokes and riddles have a sense of humor!
How many seven-legged, six-eyed tarantula with epilepsy does it take to change a lightbulb?
what?
How many seven-legged, six-eyed tarantula with epilepsy does it take to change a lightbulb?
you got me on that one. ha?
a thousand?

hahaha... ofcourse none%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;

Lets just take a moment to laugh everyone. How many independent Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, any more than that would be considered ecumenical.



Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.



Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.



Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.



Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.



Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.



Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.



Amish: What's a light bulb?



Atheists: None. Atheists do not believe in lightbulbs.



TV evangelists: One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.



Fundamentalists: THE BIBLE DOES *NOT* SAY *ANYTHING* ABOUT LIGHT BULBS!!!!
Lets just take a moment to laugh everyone. How many independent Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Glad you can laugh at yourselves for a change...oh and you forgot the Agnostics:can't decide whether to change the lightbulbs or not.
Lets just take a moment to laugh everyone. How many independent Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?
YOU ARE PUT IT TO THE POINT
We all need to take time to laugh at ourselves. :P
almost funny. :]
the additional details is probably the funniest joke of all time.

1,000 honorary points!!
well, i think that just about covered everyone. I think the atheist one was the funniest. thanks for the laugh
what about Jehovah witness and Wesleyan you forgot them
Having fit into several of those catagories at different times in my life I can say%26quot; Very funny.%26quot; If we can't laugh at our differences, we won't be able to build upon our commonalities.
All of it is funny apart from the one where you deride my beliefs.





LOL.
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?

He lay awake at night wondering if there was a Dog!
JW's don't have light bulbs, they live in the dark.
2 points yeah!!
not funny
What's red and black and has trouble going through a revolving door?



A nun with a spear through her head!

grey hair

parameter

How many ______ does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. But they are still in darkness.



How many Christians does it take to change a Lightbulb?

None. They just stay in their darkness and pray to their non-esixtant god to do it for them



How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really one.



How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb ?

It depends on what you want them to change it into.



How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes eight million years.





What else ya got?
How many ______ does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
...Baptists.

Just one, but he has to go through a committee first.
How many ______ does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
lol!
boring...
LOL
how many stupid jokes does it take to shut you up?



however many will get you out of your moms basement
how many vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?



well i guess you weren't there were you?!



...



how many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?



to get to the other side.
Funny, I see you have been studying my work.



How many zorastorists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who cares?



How many metaphysicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but they'll think for an hour about the exact turn of the screw before they decide good enough is good enough.
How many Atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, a religious fundamentalist killed them for not believing as they do before the light burnt out.
Amish



What's a light bulb?
Rude boys (people into Ska music)



4. One to screw it in, but 3 to pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!



Emo kids



none, they just sit and cry in the dark.
Nuns



Nun, they'd rather grope for a co-redemptrix



*********************

Nihilist



It just doesn't matter
How many theists does it take to change a light bulb?



-just one for enough light to read the first few lines in the respective holy book and then when one realizes that the book is stupid, one breaks the light bulb due to rage.
I'd say that the first one is true, but

This is not really the place to be joking around, thats jokes and riddles, people come here to seek advice, and give advce, not be critized.

I'll go to jokes and riddles to laugh at some more of your jokes though.
How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. We like it dark. wink wink.
nothing else but good.

How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?

hahahah... i'll give you guys some time to answer before i spoil it.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
They are all too busy fighting over the broken glass.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
IDK, tell me! But I have an emo joke too





How do you get an emo down from a tree?















you cut the rope...







geez people are being uptight! My %26quot;emo%26quot; friends always tell emo jokes and they're not offended by it.
Who cares
idk

how many?
How many Emo Jokes does it take to get an Emo Pi$$ed off?



1



*P.O.ed*
all of them, because they are stupid emos!
I was thinking of asking this last night lmao, can't wait to see the answer!
uh....0 cuz theyre so busy cuttin themselves they forget about everything else
2



One to change it, the other to burn the ladder XD
all of their conglomerate, tormented souls
That's mean...don't label people.....Why did i get thumbs down you're all stupid!!!!
4. One to hold the lightbulb and 3 to turn the chair.
IMPOSSIBLE!!!! emo is a genre of music so that's completely impossible
okay ur an asshole
none, they like to cut themselves in the dark
None, they like the dark
you are a dumb *** for making fun of people you put labels on but i know the stupide answer



one to change it and 3 to write heartfelt poems about it.
one...(%26quot;emos%26quot; arent stupid!)
6 emos to cut themselves at the thought of making light work and how it depresses them.

and then one normal person to clean up the blood and fix the light, therefore killing all of them.
6, one to change the lightbulb, and five to stand under it whinging about how emotional their life is and how they're going to committ suicide blah blah blah
none because they all start crying when it burns out
idk, how many?!
umm, 1, unless he cant c cuz its dark, then he might need a friend there...wats so funny about that?

ur a dumb piece of work....dats all i can say, i wuldnt wanna stoop down 2 level and b an arrogant jackass...but o the things i should and could say... (-_-) so ill end this answer with %26quot;get a life%26quot;

o i appreciate the thumbsdown u piece of shiit, must make u feel great, shows how big u r....kiss-my-nice-emo-*******-*** %26gt;:(
i heard this joke before, but the answer was, 'none, because they like sitting in the dark.'



eh, i don't like labels, and i don't think it's funny to joke about kids cutting themselves.
how ppl does it take to piss me off 1
funny...really.
Three. One to hold the lightbulb, while the other two turn the ladder. Also, emo cHig can take a joke. lol.

How many Emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark crying.
How many Emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?
A lot of ELMO'S
How many Emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?
What is an Emo?
Oh well. At least they have an excuse.
Why bother? I hate lightbulbs.
i dont get it?
that's quite funny lol
http://www.dobi.nu/emo/
Well now let me see now they just came over to my house yesterday I belive there were four. One to knock on the door,

One to make sure the power was off, one to unscrew the light bulb, and last but not lest one to screw it back in, a job for every Elmo
lol
none will threaten to commit suicide if you dont do it for them
hehehe
lolz

What chemicals are in a lightbulb?

A colleague was changing an oyster lightbulb a few days ago and was scalded by liquid that came out of it. It had rained heavily a few days before, would it have been rain water or would there have been other chemicals? She was burnt badly enough to be hospitalised, and transferred to a burns unit.
What chemicals are in a lightbulb?
Kosta missed the mark by a little.

Incandescent bulbs do contain a small amount of gas. Usually Argon, the most available and cheapest inert gas. Used to provide some pressure which slows evaporation of the filament.

%26quot;Energy saving%26quot; are fluorescent and do contain some Mercury. It can condense to a liquid but the amount that is there is so small you would have difficulty finding it. I have never heard of using Neon in a fluorescent light. Argon is much cheaper.

Sodium lights have Sodium metal but in vapor form when on and would not be present as a liquid.

Halogen lights are incandescent lights that operate at higher temperatures and do contain halogen gases. These are Fluorine, Chlorine, Bromine and Iodine. None would come out as a liquid.
What chemicals are in a lightbulb?
no commercially available light globe contains liquid only gas.

energy saving light globes contain mercury gas.

and fluorescent light globes have neon gas.

while modern incandecent light globes contain no gas internaly

while the more efficient halogen globes contain yet again halogen gas
What the heck is an oyster lightbulb?



Do you mean one of those oil scented nightlights that heat the oil to provide a scent.



They have hot oil.

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How many circus performers does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. Four: One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!

2. Four. One to change the bulb and three to sing, Ta da!
How many circus performers does it take to change a lightbulb?
ur giving people easy points
How many circus performers does it take to change a lightbulb?
1,394?
depends how high it is. because the higher it is the more ppl they need 'cause they just step on eachothers shoulders

How many turtles does it take to change a lightbulb?

Turtles cant change lightbulbs....



ooo haha hehe haha...
How many turtles does it take to change a lightbulb?
depends on the number of lasers hitting the atmoshpere at exacttly 2907 degresee farenhite then the octopusses have to eat exactly four dolphin pupils and then the turtles will prevale
How many turtles does it take to change a lightbulb?
...GREYFOX.
O_o
WTF?
that is funny.....

How many NEANDERTHALS does it take to change a lightbulb??

??
How many NEANDERTHALS does it take to change a lightbulb??
No electricity, so no light bulbs in the cave!
How many NEANDERTHALS does it take to change a lightbulb??
i dont know hoe many of your familly memebers did you get together to change one.
3 Neanderthals, 1 to screw in the light bulb and 2 to throw poop at each-other... or maybe im thinking of monkeys...
None, because Neanderthals didn't have light bulbs



And the lamest joke award goes to.....



You'll have to try better than that

How many children with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb...?

Anyone wanna go bike riding !!
How many children with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb...?
LOLOLOL....my son has adhd........soooooo true....lol
How many children with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb...?
Aw. Lol.
that is just mean! they are smart unlike you!
none

but it takes 20 of them to write an essay as to y they didn,t succeed
thats not very nice is it.
What do you call an English white man in his swimming trunks on a Torremolinos beach during a Summer afternoon (of which there are plenty - English white men in swimming trunks, that is)



Interno n煤mero 5740.



We all know one stinker or two. That's mine! Good day...
Cruel but funny.
Looool



I found that funny even if no one else did.
not a cool joke
.....how can you ask that!? you're nit a human, you're a monster!
Okay.!!!
umm..it isnt funny.
Fuuuuukin class! Laughed my *** off! x
That is funny. I think it would work much better told in person than in print. Like the interrupting cow joke.
Excellent :) starred
not cool
haha... some of these people really don't have a sense of humor





i thought it was good...
thats messed dont make a joke about people who are less fortunate
im i being slow again ... or is this just not funny?
One! unlike you who has to have help!

that's so not funny!

How many white people does it take to change a lightbulb?

Yeppp
How many white people does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not a lot because they're so bright. Get it?

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How many rangers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

the correct answer is NONE

unless they steal a new one at Asda like what I do

OR

WE CANNY AFFORD A NEW BULB AFTER SPENDING AW MA GIRO ON HASH FAGS AND 9P BEANS FAE LIDL



alternative answers will be good to read



Celtic have not won, the season does not end until may, ive never heard anyone been given the league championship title in december!
How many rangers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
What are you?? .. the greyskull cabaret this year.. you sound like a briggit performer, are you from Clydebank then Jason Hahaha!
How many rangers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many are you contemplating on buying then,i did'nt know they upgraded from candles in your area.
wee arra peepil do not steal from asda..its morrisons..;-0



and no the league is nowhere near won..but hey the weans are happy ..leave them to it
Doesn't matter, they are all condemned to eternal darkness anyway !
I never met anyone who knew the price of beans in Lidl, before.
Ha Ha !!!!! Gers fans dinnae need lightbulbs as the team light up their lives !!!!!

How many mythical creatures does it take to change a lightbulb?

one since it only takes one child to have a imagation to create one
How many mythical creatures does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them
How many mythical creatures does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they don't exist.
I should imagine it'd depend on the type, for example, you could have a million minotaurs in a building with millions of lightbulbs and lightbulb fixings, but I bet none of them would figure it out. Consequently, you could have smarter ones with greater initiative who may figure it out all on their own.
7
Do they even know what a light bulb is?
One Kelpie...Hell change it neigh bother
None
One Loch Ness Monster

or

Two Yetis I believe.
there is no hard and fast Lore as to how many it will take
None - they prefer the dark!!
10, but only a drunk can see them
thats no way to talk about council workers lol

How many cockroaches does it take to change a lightbulb?

Can't tell cos they all run like hell when the light comes on again.
How many cockroaches does it take to change a lightbulb?
you hears that off of TV
How many cockroaches does it take to change a lightbulb?
i think it takes 6 lol
funny :)
That brought a smile to my face. Thanks
I like the other version. How many cockroaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: Two, but how the hell did they get in there?
lol
so, what's the point?

How many canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?

yeah so how many ?
How many canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?
13



3 to figure out how

and 10 to sing and dance about it
How many canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?
What, Theres a lightbulb out? AHH im scared of the dark!



(imitation of a canadian with the lights out)
I dunno how many male chauvanists does it take to change a lightbulb?



Lol





None, let the ***** cook in the dark!
Five.

One to hold the bulb and four to turn the room.
A damn sight fewer than it took to come up with that lame line or the go flick yourself campaign.
Two, if you mean Mounties, one to hold the horse and one to stand on the saddle, :) or neigh! I must be wrong...
5: 1 to put it in, and 4 to turn the igloo around.
Canadians can't change light bulbs.
What Nationality are you?
1 unless there's a problem.

Thanks for an easy2
1
One, because the light bulb always gets his man.!
1?
they have electricity in canada?
8
well normay it would take 1 u racist
I'm not that botherd!!!!!
bring on the trumpets
one idk
one.

Another, stereotypical lightbulb riddle: who can get it?

How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Another, stereotypical lightbulb riddle: who can get it?
Sagittarians don't change lightbulbs, but they can teach you how to do it, for a fat fee...which you could pass on to me!!!.
Another, stereotypical lightbulb riddle: who can get it?
1

2

3

4

4

5

6

7

8

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How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?

i JUST learned what a chav is, so I feels special hahahha

I'l say

It takes, two; one to change the light bulb and one to

hold his friends cheap draft beer and say some thing stupid?



am i close? sorry, im like a wanna be brit, i just learned that word
How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
all of them lol
How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
dude... i live in ohio

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

none, they just watch it burn out and follow it around for 20 years......................(grateful dead, in case ya didnt get it)
How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?
They didn't want to waste energy, so they refused to change it.



THE HIPPIES WERE RIGHT!
How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Or, only one...then he takes it out and pulls out the end that goes into the socket and the filament and uses it as a crackpipe.
Good one...funny...keep 'em coming!!!!!

How many blunts does it take to change a lightbulb?

suggest category %26gt; Society %26amp; Culture %26gt; Religion %26amp; Spirituality

Rastafarian ftw lol omg i cant wait
How many blunts does it take to change a lightbulb?
2 in a good day
How many blunts does it take to change a lightbulb?
lol at the category :D



Well, it depends. How thick is the blunt? How is the quality of the content?
1 blunt is usually the answer to most things
depends, is it a cross blunt?

Why do Americans have low self esteem? See 'How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb' for answers

We don't!
Why do Americans have low self esteem? See 'How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb' for answers
piss off where are you from? are you an arab?
Why do Americans have low self esteem? See 'How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb' for answers
Don't know... I'm not offended by all the wicca and blonde jokes. Some people just don't have a sense of humor.
The allusion to the joke does not help because it is an old one and %26quot;Americans%26quot; is just something like a substitute for any other nationality or ethnic group. Moreover, the term %26quot;Americans%26quot; itself is a stereotype; seeing GWB you might as well ask: Why are Americans so d.... complacent.
you are wrong. i find them overconfident by virtue of their super power status.
Why do we have low self esteem? so we can live longer, if you use up all your esteem when you are young you won't have any left when you get older.

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb? None! we invented it two hundred years ago and its been working fine, why change it?
Because basically a lot of people are unhappy because they do not know what it really means to be happy. They are envious of a lot of material things which makes them feel worse off because they do not have the physical things, resulting in low self esteem. Too many people look outside for things to make them happy, not inside.

How do I change a front lightbulb for a 2001 Mercury Cougar?

It's a Parking lightbulb which is amber in color, there are too many wires to just unscrew it.
How do I change a front lightbulb for a 2001 Mercury Cougar?
The socket for the bulb will come out of the lamp assembly with a half twist. If you cannot reach it, you may need to remove the headlamp. Most Ford's have 2-3 pins that hold the lamp in. They look like tent stakes (flat metal with the top end bent 90 degrees). Pull up on these pins, they shold slide out and them the lamp assembly can be pulled forward enough to change the bulb. Good Luck
How do I change a front lightbulb for a 2001 Mercury Cougar?
try Reading owners manual

How many managers does it take to change a lightbulb?

two kevin keegan to hold the bulb and alan shearer to turn him around enough to make him dizzy enough to get keegans job from him



one sir alex to hold the bulb and no one else to agree it needs changing?
How many managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes 3 rafa because he always buy a wrong player ( except Torres )
How many managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Piss off, Liverpool 3 - Villa 0
did you make that up!!!?????? - don't give up your day job, if you've got one
oooo...i could make that work with the dallas cowboys!!!



I dont know those guys but...itd fit for phillips and garrett!



Thanks!



I knew soccer was good for something...



GO HOGS!

How many Alzheimers patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side...
How many Alzheimers patients does it take to change a lightbulb?
Haha.You know theres good medication these days.
How many Alzheimers patients does it take to change a lightbulb?
i dont get it?
I forget
absolutely hilarious !!
Haha I like it.
what was the question?
Seven.



How many truckstops does it take to catch a dragon?



NONE, THEY HAVE NO PARENTS.
two!

one to hold the latter and one to change the light bulb.
they forgot what they were doing halfway through the task?
lol... er... what was I laughing at?
what is a lightbulb? who are you? GET AWAY FROM ME! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! AAAAARGH!!!!
Depends! If they're blond- you'll probably need 3, but not one will succeed - it's probably a screw-in bulb and they cant figure it out!
What's a lightbulb!? What other side?? Who are you!?? Where am I!!? Wh-what-what is this??
Emily keep quiet Stewy for govener
Its funny cause its true.....!



The answer is B.
huh? i forget, what site am i on?????



LOL funnay!!!! have star for you. something i was doing in the kitchen i think???
my grandma has alzheimers you bas***d
Very funny....



A man with Alzheimers walks into a bar and asks the barmaid



%26quot;Do I come here often?%26quot;
practically no idea!
not funny..
i forget..





hahah get it?!..
HAHAHA!!

How many motor mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?

five. one to force it with a hammer, one to tell you its no longer in warranty, and three to go out for more bulbs
How many motor mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Luved it, made me giggle, time to get off the computer now..... :P
How many motor mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?
apparently not enough!LOL
IN INDIA ONLY ONE
ooooo love it

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two; one to change it and the other to hold the penis....erm, mother...er ladder..
How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
lol

One to slide the warm round bulb out, one to spread the ladder and hold on to it on both sides as they ascend relentlessly, a third to screw the bulb into its perfect, tight home until the electricity sparks and the heat and light and wonder effuses everyone, and one to run the cold shower they all need afterwards.
How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
lol - done a little of that, dude - some of my female pals in the writing group where I met my wife had a little cirlce of erotic writers. They used to rate things on a %26quot;towel factor%26quot;...I'll let you work that one out...;o)

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Hahahahahahahahahaha

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LOL.
I rofled my waffles
funny!
you are a sick pervert
hahahahaha
Imagine the broken glass if they made a *slip* ?

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How do i change a lightbulb i cant reach?

i cant use a ladder but i heard of something called a lightbulb stick...
How do i change a lightbulb i cant reach?
a broom stick with a soda bottle attached to it and the bottom cut out . slide the bottle over the bulb and twist . if it is a bulb that is not straight down then find someone with a ladder .
How do i change a lightbulb i cant reach?
have someone stand on your shoulders
You can get one at Home Depot for about $25.
Use something to grip around the light bulb like tongs, or that. The light bulb stick is good too, if you know where to find it (Hint: Home Depot)
Ace Hardware has it for $23.99



http://www.acehardware.com/sm-bayco-ligh鈥?/a>
masking tape ,long stick ,funnel......mount the funnel big side up on top of the stick by wrapping masking tape around the small funnel end and also around the stick. it will look similar to this .....Y........ line the inside of the funnel with tape leaving some of the sticky part tape to stick to the bulb.raise this contraption up to the bulb and apply pressure and then twist counter clockwise ,if you can't get enough grip you will need to expose more sticky to the bulb.
Most hardware and building supply stores sell a telescoping pole that uses different attachments for the various kinds of light bulbs.



My local hardware store sells different length poles, including telescoping poles, for between $15 to $40, and the attachments run another about another $15.



Here is a link to an online provider of a similar kit (there are many such) -

http://www.alwaysbrilliant.com/aa/aspx-p鈥?/a>



By the way - many of these attachments or kits, use the same 'thread' fitting that is found on paint pole 'handles', some long handle dusters, or push brooms. So, if you already have a push broom, or long paint handle pole, you may be able to purchase just the attachment.



Good Luck
it's called using a chair
There *is* an 'extension, grab-stick' on the market that one can use to pick up objects off the floor for people who cannot bend over or squat down OR! for reaching up overhead to grasp objects off of a top shelf, etc.



In *your* case of wanting to replace a light bulb that is above you somewhere, I would say that it depends on several special conditions whether or not such a 'pick-up extension grab stick' will work for you. If the light bulb is in an overhead fixture that has a covering of some sort under it -- NO, the 'reach-and-grab' stick will not work. Or, if the light bulb is in an elevated wall fixture that has the bulb positioned so that the 'grab-able' part of the bulb is pointed upward -- NO-can-do again.



You *may* be forced to find some good friend who CAN bring a step ladder of sufficient height and be willing to *climb that ladder* and *change out your light bulb for you*! Good luck!
get a ladder or pray you dont break that bulb or your gonna b fu--ed

A riddle or a rumor? How many Brainiacs does it take to change a lightbulb?

If you want to, you can even specify which Team. Give this your best shot.
A riddle or a rumor? How many Brainiacs does it take to change a lightbulb?
22 but since we only have 21 at the moment we let the YAmsters do it.
A riddle or a rumor? How many Brainiacs does it take to change a lightbulb?
50....10 to analzy.....20 to think of different ways to change it...29 to say its impossible...and one to try it
101 , 1 to hold the light bulb and 100 to turn the house around and around
The Polish Teams says 5.... 1 to hold the bulb and four to turn the ladder. Now it may appear to be dumb..But what the hey.. We are working over here...
It would take a team effort =))
none they could just make a robot 2 do it LAME!
One to hold the bulb and the rest to turn the world. Group B %26quot;The Best%26quot;.
I heard it from a good source that they all said %26quot;lightbulbs, who needs lightbulbs, when I can see the pc just fine by it's own light?%26quot;

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten....One to change the bulb and nine to start a %26quot;Living in darkness%26quot; support group.
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
lol nice joke! where do you get these from! i wanna know. please!
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
nice

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yea, but ifs already changed by the one...there wouldnt be a need for a darkness support group
Hm, this is a different answer to the joke when I first heard it. When I heard it first it went: %26quot;How many therapists does it take to change a lightblulb?%26quot;



%26quot;None. The lightbulb has to want to change%26quot;



Hahaha, I like that joke a lot xD
None! My beer should ALREADY be opened when she brings it to me! That`s Right!!!!
na..not ten

only...2.............

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb ?

2



one to scratch her head and the other to call out the plumber.
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Wow I feel stupid. I didn't realize that plumbers don't change lightbulbs until I read the answer before me.



I think I should have been born blonde. :
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb ?
|fiddy
hahahaha
Tut tut, not very good. 4/10
aaaaah ha haha
those poor blondes just keep taking some stick



ha ha ha starred
funny haHAha started my day with a smile ; )Thankx
hahaha

funnnnny
hahaha lol
ha
ha ha ha funny
A plumber to change the lightbulb?

Why didn't I think of that?

And there's me thinking plumbers are for doing plumbing...

How do i change the lightbulb for a hampton bay fan?

it is a ceiling fan it has a remote control and i dont n=know how to change the light bulb
How do i change the lightbulb for a hampton bay fan?
First you need 5 Pollocks. 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to turn the chair.

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How many of you will it take to change a lightbulb?

all of us...
How many of you will it take to change a lightbulb?
One of course. =)
How many of you will it take to change a lightbulb?
55
the lightbulb has to want to change.
1
14 if we're lucky
A chair would be more useful.
a whole bunch of ppl.
at least 6
None, the light bulb is OK, it was the switch operator.
im too smart so only one i can do it without touching......yup im that smart
Only one....but the lightbulb has to want to change.
A lot of people.

One to buy a new bulb.

And like 5 to get the bulb out.
change comes from within.
Just one!
three and half! :D
Only one.

I can change a lightbulb. And I can do it good too. (:
2.5
obviously more than one person.. i've had a lightbulb out for months in my closet and haven't done anything about it. I did move a chair in there to stand on and unscrew the light cover thing..but hasnt moved since then.
I can change a lightbulb. Unless it's super high. Hmm, that's a lie actually. I had my best friend change the light in my bathroom because I couldn't.
4.

1 to change the lightbulb and 3 to swear and criticize me
THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ME!!! Uh-oh...I'm screwed, I'd need more!
100. 1 to hold the lightbulb %26amp; 99 of us to turn the building round %26amp; round.
i'm scared of heights.

:D
Hella
None, we just call our friends over in R and S and one of their Gods will perform a miracle and a new lightbulb will appear.

We, in polls and surveys are very resourceful.
just one,

but after about 3 tries ill give up like everyone gave up on me
prolly 3

first: to get on the ladder

second: to go get the light bulb

third: to actually screw it in
just a couple of Obama's clan , and a handful of clinton staff should get the light bulb change and the dress clean off before the light is back on
I change all the light bulbs in my house...

I keep spares on hand too...
There is only one of me :)













One.

How many Gods does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb doesn't need god to change it, it is the master of its own destiny.



The light bulb has only to discover its true will and follow it.
How many Gods does it take to change a lightbulb?
God knows !?!
How many Gods does it take to change a lightbulb?
4
You should never ask god to test his powers!
none...man can do it alone
dunno y not tell us?
None, they get their minions/followers to do it for them.
He doesn't need to change a lightbulb - he SAID let there be light and there was light so no bulb required.
NONE THEY CREATE SUNS WHO NEEDS LIGHT BULBS
I am truly not sure.
had to be some one else to do it...



god does not do manual work of any kind, that wy it is caled GOD...
why would they need a light bulb ?



if they're gods they can make their own light !



What if neptune tried to change the lighbulb.. God of the sea..what about the health and safety aspects there ?There's you getting neptune to change the light bulb, mixing electricity and water. Boom..now his in hospital..and it's all your fault. Now he can't provide for his kids...what are you going to do now ! Uhh



you hadn't though tof that had you smarty pants.
None, the light bulb just has to believe it can change
there is only one god
there's only one god, so this is a no-brainier
none
None God does not need lightbulbs
It don't matter ALLA will blow it up anyway
It takes seven......one to hold the light bulb...and six to spin the ladder.
None...God only needs to say %26quot;let there be light%26quot; and there will be light...who needs light bulbs?
Three. The Holy Trinity. One to hold the bulb. Two to spin the ladder.
42. haha! you found the ultimate question! and the answer fits!!!!
Depends - what do you want it changed in to?
one because there is only one.
What a totally stupid question. Who cares anyway?
but there is only one god
One, but it takes a dozen religions to explain it.
Watt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow it takes a GOD to do THAT??! I have to do that every three months. . .
the TRINITY only
gods don't change lightbulbs- they are too far up themselves to see the lightbulb to start with- they have their **** licking followers to do that for them.

How many hollywood producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None - he has the grip do it for him.
How many hollywood producers does it
take to change a lightbulb?
I don't know, 5?
How many hollywood producers does it
take to change a lightbulb?
4
about as many as there are employed because there is only one sensible one that wont fall into arguing chaos with the others.
Im guessing 1

How many Czars does it take to change a lightbulb?

nuff said
How many Czars does it take to change a lightbulb?
Zero, they just sit in the dark and spend our tax money, they do draw a salary you know
How many Czars does it take to change a lightbulb?
you'll have to ask Obama
This has what to do with politics? The Right's sudden fear of %26quot;czars%26quot; is amusing given that the term came into US politics with Reagan.
Its a trick question...



It depends if its an incandescent bulb or a new Earth friendly bulb.
The term currently used in this administration was initially given during the Bush years to indicate an individual in charge of something. That seems a bit hypocritical to me.
None.



The lord god Obama will just create a new sun for them when they need light.
Just one. But the light bulb really has to want to change.
600,000 that's Obama's idea of job creation

How do you change a lightbulb?

...in a bowing 747 airplane?
How do you change a lightbulb?
Ha Ha!! you got me on this one.

parameter

server

How many trolls does it take to change a lightbulb?

I often wonder about this! 10 points go to the most entertaining answer.
How many trolls does it take to change a lightbulb?
0. The lightbulb never gets changed because they are too busy cloning, harassing, being racist, etc that they don't even realize it's dark outside and a light is needed.
How many trolls does it take to change a lightbulb?
Stupid.

Report Abuse

none cause trolls cant move, so they wouldnt be able to change the light bulb, trolls are just toys...
I think it would take an average of 50 because they would have to build the pyramid and have the last little dude climb up there.
none....cause they're so dumb? IDK
One to change the lightbulb; nineteen to keep the pink flamingos from upsetting the ladder.
zero....trolls are not real
two
Zero. Trolls never do anything useful. They'd rather just complain about the dark.
Trolls cannot change a lightbulb. They're too busy screaming for attention.
more than one if the lighgt bulb is on the ceiling but i think they live in cave which dont have elecricity how sad... no wait they live under bridges.
It depends on the type of lightbulb and how skillful the trolls are in their efforts
NONE

TROLLS DON'T BELONG TO THE LIGHT BULB CHANGING UNION

PIXIES ARE THE LIGHTBULB CHANGERS
12, if they build a pyramid. 11 if they stand on their tiptoes.
Well trolls usually live under bridges.



Bridges don't usually have lightbulbs.



So i'm guessing...it's a trick question. Trolls don't know how to change lightbulbs!!
how many you're willing to get mad at.
You got me
100 because there so stupid
Are they short trolls or tall trolls!
Three. One to try to make the New Lightbulb manifest upon the world and two to fail in stopping him.
Just one - Edna Banbrick....cuz she's in the WORST CITY EVER - FLORIDA.
10000 because every troll can not move and there would have to be 1 troll at the top with one arm sticking up and 1 twister
depends on %26quot;watt%26quot; wattage the bulb is and %26quot;watt%26quot; the trolls are %26quot;wattching%26quot; at the time !
Two. One to guard the bridge, one to change the bulb.
you often wonder about this hey?please seek help
None, the trolls like the dark!
when i knew some who worked on the motor way. i thought hey what a plug for Y/a...lol
How to get trolls to change your lightbulb:

well you convince trolls that you have a special job for them. Lie and say it'll save people's lives and make a big difference. Then when you have their trust take the little trolls and stack them up one by one up to the ceiling. You'll need alot depending how high it is to the lightbulb. Make sure the leader of the trolls is at the top. tell them to unscrew the bulb and drop it down for you to catch it. Toss the new one up so they can put that one in.

Caution: trolls are bad catchers so you might wanna keep back up lightbulbs just to make sure.

In a couple of hours, or days, you'll have a brand new, shiny lightbulb replaced by green little trolls. Enjoy!
None, cos they're too busy answering questions on this page.
23 and a half

-

One with the biggest feet to dangle upside down from the lightbulb - whilst one pedals in a circle on its trike...the rest of them trying to pat down their hair after the electric shock...hehe
none... trolls can't change a lightbulb...
trolls don't change the lights as they have 'night vision'. this was a consequence of evaluation as it helped them to rampage, kill and gen rally have fun 24 hours a day

How many paedophiles does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it and one to film it
How many paedophiles does it take to change a lightbulb?
ooo thats funny but its rude



sure to get deleted
How many paedophiles does it take to change a lightbulb?
Sick. (Slightly humorous)
the only reason i am answering this question is to tell you that is sick...but i am sure i am not alone....
?????????????????
You don't have kids I assume - or do you you and are also screwing them????
ok...
maybe a little sick........but hey it's only a joke.......i hope!!!!!!!!!!!
Good...



7/10...
i think yahoo should have had this question removed as soon as it was posted ......



how sick can u get eh u wouldnt be telling tthis joke if it happened to somone in your family would ya
you have got a serious problem why do you keep asking these %26quot;jokes%26quot; not funny really offensive

How many Freemasons to change a lightbulb ?

Sssssshhhhhhhh ! I can't tell you --- it's a secret !
How many Freemasons to change a lightbulb ?
A. After much research this tricky question can now be answered. It takes 20, as follows:



2 to complain that the light doesn't work.

1 to pass the problem to either another committee, the Temple Board or the Master of the Lodge.

3 to do a study on light in the Lodge.

2 to check out the types of lights the Knights of Columbus use.

3 to argue about it.

5 to plan a fund-raising dinner to raise money for the bulb.

2 to complain that %26quot;that's not the way we did it before.%26quot;

1 to borrow a ladder, donate the bulb and install it.

1 to order the brass memorial plate and have it inscribed.
How many Freemasons to change a lightbulb ?
That was just wrong, and stupid. The answer is one...
brilliant!!!
I'll know the answer only when I become the Master of the Lodge!!!.
i heard it was 3...



1 to change the bulb

1 to read the minutes of the last time the bulb was changed

1 to complain that that's not how we used to change the bulb
When you're a Freemason everything is done in the dark so there are no light bulbs to change.
It takes one to change it, but a group of old Freemasons will sit around and complain that things were much better with the OLD bulb.
i know there should be more than one because you will hear more than one voice, but you cant tell exactly how many because you will be blind-folded when you get inside the lodge

How do I change a lightbulb?

I can't do it, I try all the damn time, and I just can't figure it out.

HELP!
How do I change a lightbulb?
http://www.ehow.com/how_4527657_change-l鈥?/a>
How do I change a lightbulb?
1. You have to turn the light off for around 10 min.

2. Then you twist it the opposite way that you put it in

3. Then replace it with a new one


Turn the light off so the bulb is cool, and the electricity is off as well. Turn the bulb counter-clockwise to remove. Wrap the old bulb in a paper bag or re-cycle a plastic bag and place in your trash. To Install a New Bulb, turn the bulb clockwise. It may help to remember this saying, %26quot;Left-y loose-y; rightie tight-y.%26quot; In other words, turn Left to loosen and turn Right to tighten. This is true for most applications. Good luck!
Totally depends on your ethnic origin - but you'll probably need some friends of similar ethnic origin. I know how many Poles it takes to change a lightbulb, how many Frenchmen, Jewish grandmothers, Germans, etc.



Let us know what you background is and I think we can help you.



Oh, we need to know your occupation too - it's different for engineers, management consultants, doctors, etc.



Sorry, but this stuff is complicated.

get rid of red eye on picture

web development

How many peeps does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. Once it explodes in the microwave, the light bulb undergoes a change (it becomes covered with goo).



What do ya think?
How many peeps does it take to change a lightbulb?
its ok (too much explanation)
How many peeps does it take to change a lightbulb?
to tell you the truth...i dont get it...o wait...now i get it!!...thats ok..i guess...i was thinking too hard about it.

How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Border Collie: Just one. Then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.



Rottweiler: Make me!



Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?



Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!



Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.



Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls.



Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?



Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.



Mastiff: Screw it yourself! I'm not afraid of the dark...



Doberman: While it's out, I'll just take a nap on the couch.



Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.



Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!



Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb?



Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...



Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?



Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...



Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs -- people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?



Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.



Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?
How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Hi,



you really need to be a dog lover/ have knowledge of the breeds to appreciate this joke!



Sophia
How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Haha! chihuahua was perfect!

how about a Doberman: Grr........I'll chase that lightbulb! why is it troubling you?

(that's my Dog!)
I like it! Great way to see the ture personalities of a dog!

*sTaR*
%26amp; a Staffie says

%26quot; what's a light-bulb?

i can see perfectly well day or night %26quot;.
good job you put this in this section,coz if you'd have put it in the dog cat, it would drive them barking mad

get it barking mad



oops sorry, gonna have to leave these old bones alone
Lol V good :)
nice dog story
its quite funy actually
You have just brightened up a very sad day for me, many thanks..
...heehee...funny:)
LOL! That was great! You are soooooo funny!
Laura retriever: shut up mutha fucka
hahaha, I LAUGHED reading this one and that doesn麓t happen often. Loved the Australian Sheperd and the Westie...and all the rest.
thats funny hahaha

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?

10,



1 to change the light bulb, the other 9 to congratulate him down the pub.
How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
so the answer is one then? not funny really is it dear?



having trouble getting laid by any chance?
How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
Actually it's just one. I did it last night and no-one said well done.
how many women with pms does it take?



two...BECAUSE IT JUST DOES OK!
Not great ...but still a hell lot compared to my 10 minutes in 'Religion and Spiritualty'
that wasnt reallly funny....i change lightbulbs and well im not a man but no one gives me a job well down....THAT was like a 0.00000001 of 10000000000 it was really bad :)
won If won leaf it fore a weak den his wife chaeng it, so nede won men to it ignore.
It only takes one but it takes him about a year to get round to it.
only one , but it takes a week!!! ( to explain to a woman how to do it )
Funny! 9/10!
Hahaha...

I heard a different version... it was something like: 1 to get the step ladder, 1 to hold the ladder 1 to hold the bulb, one to climb the ladder, 1 to pass the bulb, 1 to tell him what to do, and the rest was about congratulating eachother.... etc.. something like that!! lol



:-D



xx
how bout ppl who dont drink. You are so corny
True!!! HAHAHA
ok if u say so!!
lol darling
i saw 4 council workers changing a street light outside my house the other day
too -FOO it's a bit stupid that one was wasn't it i changed one the other week and no one said well done not even my mum and it was her light bulb.

How many homophobes does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they prefer to stay in the dark.
How many homophobes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Too true - that was funny but oh sooo true.
How many homophobes does it take to change a lightbulb?
lol nice.
wow super funny...Im still thinking about the answer



Justin

How many apostles do you need to change a lightbulb?

1. Me.
How many apostles do you need to change a lightbulb?
none, the Light of God is eternal
How many apostles do you need to change a lightbulb?
2,One to change it,The other to say it was a %26quot;miracle %26quot; from %26quot;god%26quot;.
12,

One to get the dangerous cult leader who preached peace crucified,

One to hold the lightbulb in place,

10 to lift the house up and spin it around.



ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!
none.

people just create a mythology about it 160 years later.
12 but Jesus has to lead them to the light.
7683456437856478526.2
OVER 9000
The same amount of of apostles as angels can dance on the head of a pin.
Just one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.
My friend....







that's blasphemous.





(I don't worship them as gods, but my God did choose them to lead his kingdom, so making them seem stupid in a joke to me is calling my God stupid for picking them to spread him to the world.)
None.

God will change it for them.



=]
None. Jesus is the Light and he doesn't need any help in that area.



Now spreading the Light, he needs everyone.





__________________

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None.

They all believe there is no lightbulb - it doesn't exist
2 and 1 pair of pants for the one on the ladder.
. . . . . .

How come God doesn't change my lightbulbs, then?
none jesus can do it
Don't quit your day job, you aren't a stand-up commic.



Answer - none, they didn't have lightbulbs in Biblical times. Duh?

vc

face nail siding

How to change lightbulb in old light fixture?

I cannot figure out for the life of me how to get the cover off of this light to replace the lightbulb that went out. Here's a picture, I've started to twist off the cover, but it won't budge anymore, and I don't want to break it.

http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/3734/img00122.jpg
How to change lightbulb in old light fixture?
i reckon if you try turning the silvery screw thing at the bottom it should loosen the the whole lot but be careful and make sure you have f hand on the glass bit.



you may then have to give the glas bowl bit a little twist but i doubt it because i think what is holding it all together is the nut at the bottom.



good luck.
How to change lightbulb in old light fixture?
That bottom thing, twists off. Its not that old a light fixure, and you can see them still at Home Depot.
The small bottom piece on the glass globe closest to the ground is what loosens and comes off allowing you remove glass globe
sorry can't help....need to look at it first.....onna light hearted note ...if you was an MP you could get someone in to change it and put it on expenses! lol



Sorry i can't help
try turning the globe counter-clockwise.

How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?

I just read this question, except it was atheists instead of christians. I actually fell on the floor!



10 points for the funniest answers!





Mini-Poll: How many Losasha's does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Charismatic: 1 鈥?His hands are already in the air.



Pentecostal: 10 鈥?One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.



Presbyterians: None 鈥?Lights will go on and off at predestined times.



Roman Catholic: None 鈥?Candles only.



Baptists: At least 15 鈥?One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.



Episcopalians: 3 鈥?One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.



Mormons: 5 鈥?One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.



Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.



Methodists: Undetermined 鈥?Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.



Nazarene: 6 鈥?One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.



Lutherans: None 鈥?Lutherans don't believe in change.



Amish: -- What's a light bulb?
How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yeah, it was on worldnetdaily.com the other day.

Report Abuse

Gazoo, the lightbulb was not invented by an atheist. If your talking about Edison, he was in fact not an atheist although having been accused of being so for his view of %26quot;scientific deism%26quot;. But the real inventor of the incandescent lightbulb, Joseph Swan was by no means an atheist.
how many white people can change a light bulb?

all of them

how many asians can change a light bulb?

one, Yao Ming.



How many mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?

one usually.

how many white people does it take to change a light bulb?

zero, they pay the mexicans to do dat shiz
One to sneak in and do it when no one is looking, and the rest to proclaim since no one saw a person do it, (all together now), %26quot;GOD DID IT!%26quot;





NICOLAS HEY---if you pick this as best answer, then I'll know there's a God. (I'm atheist).
None. Christians just light a candle. It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.



Okay,,,,, that's not funny. But it's the best I could do.



Can I have a thumbs up for effort? Pleeezzzze.
Depends...your average believer would just do it themselves.



Fundies on the other hand would allow it to remain burned out. They like being in the dark, but pretending it's light.
Dude, are you serious? I'm guessing your one of those people who never goes to Church, yet when your in pain or you want something happen your screaming %26quot;Oh please God help me%26quot;? I'm not perfect but your little poll that you thought to be funny is actually a little insulting.....find a better way to use your brain.......God Bless You!



Well.......I'm entitled to my own opinion. If your free to ask, what I think to be a stupid question, then I can give whatever answer I want to give.
If it's NOT a fundie then just 1 christian



but...



if it is a fundie then it won't get replaced cause electricity would just prove science right and religion wrong according to them (fundies)
How many Christians does it take to answer this question?!?!?!







Hey and, it shouldbe for non Christians! I'm a Jewish convert.
A light bulb is real. christians can't handle that.



If we depend on Loasha to change a bulb we will live in darkness.
As long as it takes God to say %26quot;Let the light go off.%26quot; otherwise they'd burn themselves....









Suzanne wins......hahahaha.......
Christians don't change light bulbs. Whenever one goes out, they sit there and wait for God to make light.
i'm a Christian and i change my own light bulbs all the time... by myself!
change it into what???
Light bulbs were invented by an atheist. They are obviously from Satan.
none... they'll pray to god to change it..
I think Suzanne won this one.
None they like to be in the dark.
Twelve.



%26quot;This is my light bulb from where you take light, do this in remembrance of me%26quot;.
69,000
Hats off to Suzanne! KUDOS! That's funny stuff ...... I don't care who you are!
My light is always shinning.......
Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life -- why were at it the Light too -- God Bless your insults !!
reported.

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

none

they are on the dark side not the light side
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
lol ermm i give up
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
7 - My Lucky Number So 7 Emos :P
We love the dark
Emo kids take the light bulbs out, and don't replace them...!
well 2 emos(one to do it,one to counsel the other one)

And at least 5 light bulbs cause the emos keep dropping them(every thing goes wrong in their life)



And you'd also need an adult to stop the emos eletriuting them self's with the light socket. =)
Twelve. One to change the bulb, and eleven to write crappy poetry about how dark the room used to be.
10 - 1 change the lightbulb and 9 cut themselves and just think%26quot;i hate that lightbulb...%26quot;
emo is the WORST steriotype!

cuz 'emos' cut themself cuz the dnt feel enough emotion!

duh!


it taked no emo kids to change a lightbulb cuz they like the dark not the light lol and no im not emo,,, im just a bit into punk but i dont cut myself whats wrong with ya!! lol so yeah the answer is 0
all the emo kids in the world + 1 norm kid whilst the norm kid fixing the light the emos are cuting themselves
one who is not emo
5--one to screw it in--4 to turn him around

How many children with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a lightbulb?

Let's go ride our bikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



do you know a more lame 'joke' than this?

worst one get ten points lol
How many children with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a lightbulb?
!! :P !! LmAo! That was absolutely hilariou------- oh wow. look at the pretty dress. you know, i had one like that but in a different colour. It's pretty though. It reminds me of some of those interesting fabrics you'd find at a fabric store. You know the kind that sells all kinds of Artsy things? .... like fabric, buttons, beads .... speaking of beads, you know my friend went to Mardi Gras and said he got over 100 beads!! Now, what's the purpose of that? Beads i mean, not of going to Mardi Gras. I've never been to Mardi Gras, is it anything like Cinco de Mayo? like in terms of partying? Partying of the drinking sort, not like the birthday kind, although some birthday parties do have drinking most kids birthday parties don't. That's the kind i was meaning. Where there's cake and bouncy machine things and kids with bikes...... all kinds of bikes. Bikes.... oh, wait, did someone say they were going to ride bikes?

:P LmAo.....................



Phooey on the party poopers! I'M ADHD(ADD) and i thought the joke was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh! It is SO true! 鈾?br>


*edit* And Okay For the record : Add/Adhd is not a mental disorder or some kind of a disease!!! It's a different kind of brain wiring! Like in a similar way to Photographic memory or perfect pitch or synesthesia or dyslexia. It's simply a different method of learning based on brain functions. AND some (not all) people with ADD have extremely high IQ's!! Gosh, don't you people have access to books? Where do you live, under a rock? Go READ about it, then perhpas you might not be so ignorant in your answers! AND the joke was FUNNY. Why is it that mostly all of the ADD people got a laugh from it, but the non-multi-linear thinkers didn't? Hmmm.
How many children with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a lightbulb?
i dont appreciate your sense of humor.
shut up rob if that is your real name
Its not funny!
wow..... that isnt funny
disorders and diseases are nothing to kid about. that wasn't funny.
I am literally laughing out loud! Thank you so much! :D



ETA - Oh, lighten up, people! Do you know anyone with ADD or ADHD? My son has ADHD and is a wonderful little boy, but this joke is so true, it's hysterical. Get a grip and stop being so P.C.
Dude that was mean. :'( Not funny.



Show some love to those kids.
Only one. But he does it 30 times.
I'd just like to say to all the negative answerers here, get a fekin sense of humour will you, not everything in life has to be serious - Jibe over -
An Irishman goes to buy a loaf of bread, propping his bicycle against the bakery window

The assistant asks %26quot;brown or white%26quot;

Irishman replies %26quot; No that's okay, I have my bike outside! %26quot;
This one works a little better in person:

I have a knock knock joke for you, but you have to start it.

Who's there?



I heard this one on some energy conservation commercial (or something), asked by one famous musician to another, but it's not quite lame:



Rock star A: How many groupies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Rock star B: Why would we want them to do that?



By the way, I have ADD and didn't find it offensive. It's okay to lighten up a little bit... no pun intended.
I don't know a worse joke than this, I always finish what I
I'm offended by that question,i know many children who suffer from disorders %26amp; i was diagnosed with an illness....u should try looking in the riddles %26amp; jokes section maybe there will be lame joke questions there %26amp; plz don't ask this question again....anyone with common sense would know why not to.

Edit: %26quot;bloodshotbiz%26quot; ur an @sshole!!!
What should you do if you come across a tiger?









Apologise and wipe it off
I have an attention deficit and I think it's funny. Who's really offended by that? It's a joke! (besides, I always wander off the point...)

How many ACTORS does it take to change a lightbulb ?

Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: What's it's motivation?



Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One.... if he can find it.



Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One; the actor holds the lightbulb, and the world revolves around the actor...



Q: How many straight actors does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Both of them.



Q: What's black, crispy, and hangs from the ceiling?

A: An actor changing a light bulb!



Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 5--one to screw in the bulb, and four to say how much better they could have done it.



Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Doesn't the stage manager do that?



Q: How many radical feminist performance artists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five. One to do it, and four to host a panel discussion of the political, social, and sexual ramifications of the lamp-changing.



Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: A finite number F. One to change it and F-1 to act in a stereotypical manner according to the part they're playing



Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.



Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to stand on a chair and change it and one to say I wish I was up there !



Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Depends on what is says in the script.



And a few of my own...



It doesn't matter as long as they all have Equity cards and are listed in the programme



How can you expect an actor to work in the dark, dahhling?



And some bonus extras...



Q: How do you get an actor off your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.



Q: How do actors traditionally greet one another?

A: %26quot;Hi, nice to meet you, I'm better than you.%26quot;



Q: How many actors does it take to wallpaper a room?

A: Only three, if you slice them very thin.



Q: How can you tell when a plane is full of actors?

A: When the engine stops, the whining continues.
How many ACTORS does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Dunno?
How many ACTORS does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Ive heard this question many times before but with different people,

and I really don't get it!!!!

??????

Please Explain!
Two. One to screw in the bulb, one to screw up the lines..
None, they get their personal assistants to do it.
-1
A 1

a 2

a 1234
Five- one to climb the ladder and the other four to say that should have been me!



One to change it, and 99 to stand there and say 'I could have done it better.'



Just one. He stands there, and the world revolves around him.
Erm....five?
8 million
They don't change light bulbs silly boy they have their people do it for them!!
just one, but he needs a director to tell him how to do it
The whole cast!
none- they all just act like they're going to change it
Five-- one to climb the ladder and the other four to say that should have been me!
Actors don't change lightbulbs, you have to be in the electricians union. It takes 3 electricians: one to change the bulb (except they call it a %26quot;lamp%26quot;), one to hold the ladder, and one to run the lightboard.

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